Single-Mooning: Falling back in love with oneself one day at a time

Awwww, Valentine’s Day.  The day that most folks are out spending time with their honey bunny and eating overpriced chocolate hearts and just really making it hard on a single gal. Everywhere I turned this weekend, there were folks holding hands and sharing PDA’s. Even the nail salon was full of couples! I called myself taking my mind off of the romance drought by treating myself to a pedicure but nope! Even there, people were getting COUPLE’S pedicures as the nail tech drew hearts of lotion on everyone’s legs at the conclusion of their appointment. Gag me, please!!!! This would not have even mattered not so long ago. I counted and realized that I have ALWAYS had a valentine. And by always, I mean from high school til 2013. Count that with me…..I’ll wait….that’s right—that’s 15 years of consecutive roses and cards and candy and jewelry and emails and love notes and teddy bears. Not a bad run, if I say so myself. Not a bad run until now, that is! This is year two of the...

Why I’m No Longer Mad at Eve                 In my younger years, I spent a good portion of my time mad at Eve (and Adam too for that matter). I was told that the pivotal day in the Garden of Eden, that life-altering moment that they decided to partake of the forbidden fruit, is the reason we women have cramps. So once a month, Eve was the subject of many a cry fest as I writhed in pain. I was told that Adam is to blame for the fall of man, for man getting kicked out the Garden, for the beginning of the end, and that he and Eve are the reason the whole world has literally gone to ___ in a handbasket. “Aaaaargh!!” I would scream when I thought of how tranquil life would be if they had not eaten that dog-gone fruit, when I envision us dwelling in paradise, walking with God. Imagine never having the daunting task of picking out clothes for the day because the dress code in the Garden was… well….your birthda...

As you all know, writing is ooober therapeutic for me. I realize that holding in one's emotions can be toxic, so I will often write a letter to my hurt or the one who hurt me, not to send it, but instead to prevent myself from suppressing it. Below is a letter entitled "Someday," for your reading pleasure. "Someday" Someday you will be just a memory. I will laugh at the fact that I ever even knew you. That I ever missed a meal so heartsick that I lost my appetite thinking of you. Someday the thoughts of our pillow talk, The sweet promises you whispered won't make my cringe, Won’t cause tears to silently build in my eyes until they tumble down my cheeks, Liquid pain, lost hope, tainted heart, crippled dreams.   Someday I won't remember how my hand fit yours, how my body fit yours, How our breathing patterns matched when we'd settle down into each other's center,  That the warmth of your breath on the back of my...

I've heard the trials of life referred to as so many things....Some have called them "interruptions," some "detours, " some "speed bumps" and some have metaphorically even referred to life's hurdles as "contractions." I've had enough of them to know that no matter what you affectionately call them, they are all just plain HARD! I'm an accountant by trade so it's tough for me not to think of life in terms of numbers and charts and ledgers. This is why when I look at where I am in life now and all of its "detours", I can sometimes get a little puzzled. I thought I'd have reached this dream by 25 and that dream by 30. If I hadn't made this decision or that decision back then would I not be there by now? Didn't I take steps to accomplish Goal X and Goal Y; why hasn't it manifested yet?  The great pendulum my mind has become is a bit overwhelming at times, looking at where I am and comparing it to ...

  I’m not gonna lie. I’ve been on this Woman Power, Girls-Rule-the-World kick for so long, that I was subconsciously on auto-pilot and forgot that though embracing the single season and rediscovering oneself can be beautiful and invigorating, it can also be difficult, uncomfortable and downright challenging. I’ve been so busy trying to rise above the emotions, that when I came down from my pseudo-high, I was literally overtaken with feelings I’d tried to avoid and….Well, let’s just say, more words came out of my mouth than a mere, “ouch.”   Being humbled back to reality was a bit more painful than I’d expected. I LITERALLY took a minute to stop and smell the roses recently, single-mooning at the Botanical Gardens. While enjoying the breathtaking view the gardens offered, I was gently reminded of a saying my seasoned co-worker once told me as she watched me toil with the decision to end my marriage and embark once again on this journey of single-motherhood. Clair...

Have you ever heard the phrase: "Give and you shall receive?" Most of us have heard that sentence multiple times over the course of our lives and we have minimized it to refer to only our tangible goods. What a beautiful revelation to learn that this aged pearl of wisdom refers to more than just our money; it references giving our time, our talents, our love, our ability, our testimony, the mobility of our two hands, anything we have, to others. You would be surprised how just spending one day helping a senior citizen with an art or garden project or listening to him reminisce about his youth can brighten his day. Or the immeasurable impact you can have on the life of a youth just by reading to her at the park or helping her paint her room at a shelter to let her know someone cares. This brings me to another aspect of the single-moon: SERVICE. I love that my alma mater's motto is "Service is Sovereignty," because it was this very motto that pulsed through my m...

I met my first husband the 2nd week of undergrad, married him 5 months after graduation and because he was all I'd known for 7 years of my life, the thought of moving on without him was such a foreign, inconceivable concept for me that I had no idea how to even BEGIN to progress forward. I'm guilty of being that woman who was so consumed with being a key part of my mate's life that I forgot to have a life of my own. Some call it pitiful; I foolishly called it love. Since he was the only relationship reference point I had and I'd made our lives so intricately intertwined, when he, the comfort zone, was removed from life, I felt like I had hit rock bottom. What do I do now? Where do I go from here? And, though I was nowhere NEAR ready to date yet, the thoughts of 'who is going to want me now' also replayed in my mind. Then one day I looked at my daughter. Though she was so small at the time, I feared that she was watching the way I grieved my marriage. I fea...